Nervous About Speaking in Public?

Sep 9, 2017

The Secret to Appearing More Confident


Whether it is meetings, presenting, conducting a lecture, attending an interview, or even going on a first date, we all want to project confidence. My niece recently started her own recruitment company and was invited to pitch to her first client. She called for advice and we ended up discussing where confidence or lack of confidence actually comes from.

Lack of confidence comes from thinking you will not meet other people’s expectations or feeling unsure about what those expectations are. It comes from a form of self-judgment and can be exacerbated by comparing yourself to others.

A lot of job candidates have the same thoughts: Everyone is watching ME, listening to ME, waiting for ME to say something new and innovative OR waiting to see if I fall on my face.”

But are people really waiting for you to fail? Think about it; are you usually waiting for someone to fail? Or do you listen wanting to understand, engage or learn from another person?

Whoever “they” are, they are not waiting for you save the world or indeed to fail, most people are waiting for you to connect with them. They are waiting for a reason to remember you.

Once you let go of the fear and focus on connecting with another human being, you will automatically come across as more “confident”.

Or in other words, they are waiting for you to make them feel something. 

There is saying: ”People will not remember what you said or did but they will remember how you made them feel”.

By feel I mean:

– feel you have prepared well
– feel you have researched your subject
– feel you understand their objectives or point of view
– feel you know yourself and what you have to offer
– feel your passion and drive

Remind yourself that there is nobody else with your exact experience or exactly what you have to offer, these will be different and unique to anybody else. Show you care about the employer or client, that you understand what they are looking for, be passionate about what you do and what you have to offer. Demonstrate that you are more than willing to contribute to the team. Back yourself.

If the people interviewing you for a role or the client you are pitching to, feel any or all of these things then you have reached your objective. Connecting with confidence!